For 3 weeks straight, I took an ice cold shower. Not lukewarm. Ice cold. As cold as I could make the shower go. No, not for 10 seconds like the people in the ALS ice bucket challenge. I’m talking a real shower.
Huh? I know you’re probably wondering what’s wrong with me. Who in their right mind would take a freezing shower? It’s one thing if you’re forced to because of circumstances (e.g., homeless shelter, prison, didn’t pay your heating bill) or therapy for an injury. Otherwise, why on Earth would you want to voluntarily subject yourself to that kind of torture?
I LOVED IT. Don’t get me wrong, there are very few things I enjoy more than a long hot shower in the morning. But a cold shower helps you overcome your fears and push you out of your comfort zone – the same type of thinking you should apply to your every day life. How?
There are things we all want to do in life but don’t. Start a business. Start exercising. Create a blog. Write a book. Lead a transformational project at work. Usually we tell ourselves we don’t have time, but deep down, we know that’s a lie. We have time for things we care enough about. We don’t because we’re scared. What if we fail? What if people laugh at us? The voice in our head tells us to stay safe and do the things we’ve always done. Are these legitimate reasons? Or, more likely, just excuses? We end up more scared of the anxiety, what we think is going to happen, than the experience itself.
In the book, The Flinch by Julien Smith, that’s called (as you would guess) a flinch, the instinct which tells you to run the other way, say no to new opportunities, and choose the safe option. The flinch is why you don’t do the work that matters, and why you won’t make the hard decisions.
Smith exposes the flinch for what it truly is and how to get past it. Below is an excerpt where he introduces the cold shower. Try this exercise too. Yes, it’s uncomfortable at first, but that’s the point. You get past that feeling quickly and realize you can do it despite the anxiety. Despite the cold. There’s nothing quite like the powerful feeling when you’re finished. To know you stood up to your fears and did it. You can then apply that same thought process to every facet of your life. You may also be surprised to find you enjoyed it (I did).
Read the rest of the book too. It’s a short and very inspiring read.
Want a real, visceral example of what the flinch feels like? Try this.
When you’re at home and have five minutes, go to your bathroom, walk up to your shower, and turn on the cold water. Wait a second; then test it to make sure it’s as cold as possible.
Do you see what’s coming?
If you do, you should tense up immediately . You should feel it in your chest. You might start laughing to release the tension— and you haven’t even stepped inside. You’re predicting a flinch that hasn’t happened yet. You’re already anxious about it— about something that hasn’t happened and won’t kill you— anxious about something that barely hurts at all.
Ok, do it. Now is the time to step in the shower.
As the cold water hits you, you might shout or squirm. But the discomfort lasts only a second. You quickly get used to it. You get comfortable with cold, instead of trying to avoid it. You put yourself in the path of the shower to speed up the adjustment process.
Remember your reaction. You can use this method for everything.
A moment before, the flinch seems so uncomfortable that you might talk yourself out of this. You convince yourself that it’s pointless, but it isn’t; it’s training. You need to build a habit of seeing the flinch and going forward, not rationalizing your fear and stepping away.
Start doing the opposite of your habits. It builds up your tolerance to the flinch and its power.
Have you done the homework assignment? Good. Keep doing it, every morning, for the rest of the week.
Oh, and if you don’t act —no matter the reason —let’s be clear: you’re flinching. This exercise has no consequences, physical or social. If you refuse to do it, ask yourself why. Because the exercise is stupid, or pointless? How will you know unless you’ve tried?
